Save my ass, demand my wife buys triple ply toilet paper

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Throughout the past 15 years, my tush has been forced to endure inhumane and unjust treatment for the sake of saving a few pennies . These small savings have caused countless abuses to my butthole region (rash, butt doobies/butt crumbs, itchy asshole syndrome, stank ass, makeya walk kinda funny, tp lint trap, etc).Sometimes in the shower it looks as if im cleaning the lint tray of the dryer, which can clearly clog the drain. I am begging the great people of this beautiful country to sign my petition immediately and please save my ass. I feel that with all my years of loving her and our children unconditionally, my cheeks deserve to feel as if im being wiped with a down pillow. I urge you good people to keep my butthole in your thoughts and prayers, while i push for a fresher and less polluted buttox.

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Richard Mckenzie needs your help with “America: Demand My Wife Buys TRIPLE Ply TP, This Ass Deserves The Best”. Join Richard and 71 supporters today.