Ban Glitter Now
Ban Glitter Now
Why this petition matters
We’ve all been the innocent victim of glitter, a.k.a. “holiday herpes,” a.k.a. “the gift that keeps on giving.” Maybe we opened a seemingly benign birthday or holiday greeting card. Maybe our significant other is “crafty.”
Whatever the source, we’ve all found ourselves navigating a typical day, trying desperately to maintain some semblance of professionalism and a modicum of self-respect when, without warning, we find ourselves infected.
Perhaps we noticed the telltale reflective glint that seemed to be surgically embedded deep into our face skin, totally impermeable to any attempts to dislodge it. Maybe it was a caring friend who called our attention to its presence (the same type of courageous friend who would tell you of lettuce in your teeth, or toilet paper on your shoe...a friend to be cherished).
Either way, we become instantly paralyzed with a mixture of fear and blind rage: fear because we realize we may never be rid of this parasite, and rage at the knowledge that this curse is entirely preventable.
As if that weren’t enough, turns out this glittery abomination typically made from plastic and aluminum is also horrible for the environment. Plastics are the byproduct of natural gas or crude oil processing. Micro plastics are the degraded remnants of all the various plastic products we use on a daily basis that gradually make their way into ocean water, arctic sea ice, fish stomachs, and then finally, back into your own body. Did you know that it’s estimated that you consume roughly the equivalent of one credit card per week worth of micro plastics? But glitter, yeah it’s already sold in it’s micro form. American Greetings, future generations would like to know why you hate the earth? https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/oct/22/glitter-environment-microplastics-hazard?fbclid=IwAR0Fm_zVZezr91KVULkx158gGmb8Iu3Mk5V6rAAb27K6Xpcmku-o1bRskdY
And so I call on all citizens to unite and, with one voice, demand an end, once and for all, to the pestilence that is GLITTER.
Governments of the world....the time has come to take a stand for your people. End this scourge! Outlaw all production, sales, distribution, and possession of this devil dust.
JUST SAY NO TO GLITTER! Let’s end this pandemic.