Materialism drains the soul as well as the wallet. It is the basis for all sorts of other emotions; greed, envy, disappointment, hatred, paranoia, and anger. It can also kill you whether from the slow death that comes from the build up of negative emotions or being trampled while exercising the prime ritual of the season: shopping. It used to be that our rituals involved cleansing and rebirth not exchanging little pieces of electronic green paper for otherwise useless items. These useless items give a moment of excitement and then end up in a landfill. Materialism can be found not just in the collection of things we have, but the television we watch or the time we spend on the internet. It is so insidious that it affects us from the moment we wake up till the time we go to sleep. It is in our dreams and our nightmares. We try to keep up with the Jones to our own detriment. Or we worry about simply running out of credit for buying new things before Santa touches down. The saddest things is that the more we acquire the more we agonize about losing what we have.

The great Materialistic Christmas time, is one of out doing the neighbors in our lighted displays or the size of our tree. Of buying so many presents it makes up for all the time we are not spending with those we care about. Of maxing out our credit card and stressing out about what to get everyone we have to get a present for. This has been so ingrained in us from our parents, to the advertisers, to the credit card companies, to the government, spend, spend, spend. You can refuse to feel guilty for not giving.

When I think about the Christmas times I enjoyed the most, it is the family and friends that I remember, not the gifts. It is the experience of sharing your life even for a few days with those that matter to you. So ask yourself this Christmas season, is it really worth it to mortgage your future financial security to give a gift to somebody who may not even want or need what you give them?

That all being said, when done appropriately, I think gift giving is great. Here are my rules for giving: 1. Only buy gifts you can afford, if the transaction involves plastic, don't do it. This supersedes all of the other rules. Be mindful of every purchase you make. When considering a gift for yourself, think about if you really need it, and if not will the amount you are spending on it bring you enough joy to justify it.

2. Giving doesn't need to happen on Christmas and birthdays, it can happen year round. If you stumble across something you know someone will enjoy then get it for them.

3. You should never feel required to gift something to someone; otherwise it isn't a gift but an obligation, like paying taxes. Anyone who is hurt by not receiving a gift doesn't deserve one.

4. A corollary to 3, surround yourself with people deserving of your time. If your family is full of guilt-tripping drama queens you need to find yourself better family, a family of choice.

5. If you have an opportunity to give a need to someone, do it.

6. Once somebody's needs are met, experiences are more valuable than things.

7. Time spent with those you care is just about the most important gift you can give.

8. If you still feel the need to give a gift, take the money you would have spent on it and give it as a donation in their name to a cause they care about.   9. If you do receive a gift. Receive it with grace, humility, and understanding. Never refuse a gift.

10. Spend less and love more.

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