Unfortunately, day in and day out abusive men and registered sex offenders are being granted visitation rights, more specifically, unsupervised visitation. Speaking from experience, both my daughter and I are better off without abuse in our lives. A three-year-old doesn't deserve to be forced to visit the man who beat her mother in front of her little eyes on a regular basis, especially without proper supervision.
I currrently have a Final Protective Order against my abuser, who also happens to be my daughter's father. Child Protective Services is involved as a result of some alarming statements my daughter made. They have only interviewed my daughter once. The social worker also told me that "for what it's worth, he's still in love with you..." when referring to my ex abuser. UNREAL! These people have no experience with abusive men and have no idea what they are capable of. The Court obviously doesn't realize the severity of the problems children encounter as a result of the abuse they witnessed against their own mothers. Unfortunately, my daughter is being forced to visit with him without proper supervision and I need your help to stop this. Our custody hearing is in June of 2011, where my previous attorney stated that he believed my abuser would receive increased visitation rights and actually told the judge that this is what he forseed happening, although my attorney agreed that my ex abuser and his family were all "crazy". With your help, I can prevent any further damage to my daughter than what has already been done as a result of this man being part of her life.
"Children who grow up exposed to an abusive man's behavior learn that abuse is the price people pay if they want to receive love. This training can make it harder for children to recognize when they are being mistreated and to stand up for themselves. As an abuser passes on his thinking to the next generation, he, in effect recruits his sons to the ranks of abusive men. He does not literally want his son to mistreat women--he doesn't believe he does so himself, after all--but he wants his son to think as he thinks, including adopting his same excuses and justifications, so the outcome is the same. And to a lesser extent he also recruits his daughters to join the ranks of abused women", says well-known and respected author Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom and The Batterer as a Parent, as well as Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men and several articles for The New England Journal of Medicine along with several other professional publications. Lundy Bancroft his now practicing in Massachusetts while training various state and judicial agencies in domestic abuse situations, as he is the former codirector of Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men. "A woman can be punished for exposing children to a man in one situation but then punished for refusing to expose them to the same man in another situation. And the second case is potentially even more dangerous than the first, because she is no longer able to keep an eye on what he does with the children or to prevent the postseparation escalation that is so common in abusive fathers. Abused mothers are typically required by family courts across the United States and Canada to send their children on unsupervised visitation--or into custody--with their abusive fathers. When the children then begin to show predictable symptoms such as school behavior and attention problems, sleep disorders, unwillingness to respect their mother's authority, or emotional deterioration, court personnel and court-appointed evaluators commenly declare that these are normal reactions to divorce or that the children are actually responding to their mother's emotions rather than to their own. I have been involved in several cases where the abuser has physically or sexually abused the children in addition to abusing the mother, and the court still forced the mother to allow visitation with no professional supervision. Abused women across the continent report that it can become extraordinarily difficult to persuade the court to examine the evidence objectively once the mother has been labeled "vindictive" or "overemotional" or has been accused (however baselessly) of having incluenced her children's statements. The treatment that protective mothers so often receive at the hands of the family courts is among the most shameful secrets of modern jurisprudence. This is the only social institution that I am aware of that so frequently forbids mothers to protect their children from abuse. Fortunately, over the past few years, women and men (including many nonabusive fathers) across the United States and Canada have been waking up to the severity of this problem with the result that there are multiple initiatives currently in motion to demand family court reform. I have been part of one such effort, assisting a well-funded organization that is preparing a human rights report for the international community on the revictimization of abused women and their children through custody and visitation litigation. (For more information, see "Battered Mother's Testimony Project" http://www.thelizlibrary.org/therapeutic-jurisprudence/AZ-Battered-Mothers-Testimony-Project-Report.pdf )"
KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER:
*An abuser in the home affects everybody.
*A good father does not abuse his children's mother.
*Abusers drive wedges between people, by accident or by design. Abused mothers and their children should seek support to heal as individuals and to heal their relationships with each other.
*When people take a neutral stand between you and your abusive partner, they are in effect supporting him and abandoning you, no matter how much they may claim otherwise.
*People cannot claim to be opposed to partner abuse while assisting their own son, brother, friend or partner in his abusiveness toward a woman.
*Abusers rarely change if they aren't forced to suffer any consequences. A man should be required to complete an abuser program in conjunction with, not instead of, legal consequences.
*An abuser is not born, he is made.", according to Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Bancroft.
Please, take the time to sign this petition if you know what's right and want to help in fighting for the right to protect our children from abuse and violence. Help us stop the family courts from allowing these abusive men who abuse their children's mothers from having unsupervised visitation with these innocent children.