There's a lot to talk about here. Firstly, of the top-10 best-selling console games of all time, the first 8 and the 10th are all ESRB-rated E. Number 9 is indeed Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, but it's the only shooter of any variety in the top 20. Heck, it's the only one in the top-20 with a rating that isn't E. This makes sense - the majority of games sold are not shooters, but are aimed at the wider audience of gamers, teenagers, parents of teenagers, and children themselves. Much more money can be made catering to that audience than is possible designing games for only 17-35 year olds (which is the age-range that first person shooters target). Shooters get the most coverage, thanks in no small part to the exciting controversies of GTA-obsessed former lawyer jack Thompson, but by and large they aren't what people play. On the PC, for example, the best-selling game of all time is The Sims. That game doesn't even offer a do-gooder hero, or heroics of any kind. It's just household management.
Secondly, what's really interesting about PTSD and video games is the new research done showing that playing some video games reduces some instances of PTSD. There has been some evidence that playing tetris after a stressful event can lessen memory of the stress, and therefore lessen the trauma. Also, there is research being done into combat-specific virtual reality therapy, to help returning veterans cope with PTSD.
Lastly, all but the youngest children are really quite good at separating reality from fiction. People are aware of the differences between norms in a world with no consequences (like GTA) and a world with them, and people respond accordingly. VR therapy for soldiers is useful not because it is identical to combat, but because it is distinguishable from it. A game that let them re-experience combat as it was would be re-traumatizing and cause more harm than good. That disconnect between a game (no matter how convincing the graphics) and life is what makes such therapy possible.
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