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lisadom dom
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lisadom commented on the article |Shondolyn and Bev at Asperger Square 8 and all the other self advocates are brilliant because rather than shutting up and "blending in" they are out and proud and making it much much easier for me to be a better parent. And you know what? Knowing why someone is pacing, or spinning or flapping or perseverating on a phrase or squealing and stamping their feet makes it much easier to tolerate. And if I can tolerate it then I can see a way to make it easier for them to communicate or self calm or express what they need. And life just gets better.
Like Kristina my kids would be at the more severe end, and like Kristina and Jim, I think I am a much better person for knowing and raising my amazing kids. I also have more laughs and twinkly smile wrinkles than frown lines - so we must be doing something right!
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lisadom commented on the article |It's hard for me to find people I can depend upon. So independence is a given! xx
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lisadom commented on the article |I absolutely cannot stand it when someone talks to me while I am on the phone, even if on hold. I can't cross listen to the radio if someone is talking either. And I find if someone has a strong accent that if I look at their face, it is easier to understand what they are saying.
totally agree with this. xx
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lisadom commented on the article |We have similar hiring policies in Ireland but the employees with Downs and what appears to be differing mental disabilities are definitely front of house. The Avoca chain of cafes and shops for Ladies who lunch, and The Movies at Dundrum are two places I go regularly where such a policy is used. No, they do not work the tills. But they do deal directly with the public clearing tables and serving salads and cakes. And in the cinema they guys who tell me which screen is showing this weeks inexorable block buster often have special needs. This is the same cinema that lets us go and watch credits, or the last 15 minutes of said blockbuster for free, so perhaps the management is diversity aware, shall we say,,,,,
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lisadom commented on the article |I like to think about what happened in the cave when they throw up these studies Kristina.
Yep, cortisol is great for the 3 Fs response to acute danger. (Fight, Flight and reproduce) but not so good when you have evolved to sit in a car or office all day, having a physiological response to a threat without being able to have a physical response (so called executive stress and heart disease risk)
Whereas - we super parents have evolved to treat consistent stress consistently. I still fight but nicely, I'm not running away - And as for the other......
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lisadom commented on the article |Kristina, I am always heartened to share our trials with other parents who have typical pre-teens. Sometimes it is not always about autism. Sometimes it is just about being a "growing" Boy (literally growing in places that a mother doesn't want to know about)
And the advice my sister gives is based on just that, what her typical teen needed to know and learn. It's just that we have to extrapolate that advice into social stories and Picture based Q & A as in "where is it okay to be naked?"
Having the iphone means I take photos all the time of the places one must keep their weiner covered, and share them with his supervisor via email so she can incorporate them into the task analysis. We can then use the same language when correcting inappropriate behaviours eg: "is it okay to be naked in the kitchen? - Nooooh, where is it okay?"
My favourite advice about the "where it is okay to "touch" the wiener, vs, where it is okay to "hold" the weiner while urinating"
came from Sister Wolf:
"the Big Penis belongs in the bedroom"
I am thinking of having that put on a t-shirt.
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lisadom commented on the article |Quote of the week:
"if you suffer from autism, you're doing it wrong"
The gas thing about rescuers and curebies is the lavish splashing around of generalisations about the causes and cures. It always reminds me of L.Ron Hubbard!!
*looks fearfully over shoulder*
Whereas the evidence based interventions actually have suitcases of data available to support claims, but will always allow for the possiblity of other influences, like maturity, peer support, maybe a change of diet and support of the child or adult's wider community. They could say "we did this and it absolutely resolved the problem, what WE did worked"
but they don't.
Whenever someone comes up with a newfangled theory or
"cure" my answer is always the same "show me the data"
*jerry maguire voice* SHOW ME THE DATA!
then I'll think about giving it a try..
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lisadom commented on the article |Be sure to share the arguments, because we rely on our state services to provide for appropriate interventions. Extrapolating the concept of health as a result of independence is a great concept, and one we should incorporate into our campaigning.
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lisadom commented on the article |
I'm so sorry to hear that you and Jim are going through this Kristina. So many of our mums and dads are also semi-parenting their own parents along with their super kids.
As for Oprah? why can't she just stick to Mom Jean interventions and giving away a pontiac to everyone in the audience. I hate to think that there are people spotting the potential pull of autism as a ratings winner, but hmmmmm....
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lisadom commented on the article |Well Harold, My son also self harms, and if we don't carefully manage his schedules, expectations and ensure he gets enough exercise daily, he can be quite aggressive. But thanks to the good people in his school who support me, we can usually find the reason for increased inappropriate behaviours and come up with strategies to deal with them. My daughter is also quite aggressive and difficult to calm down (have just spent an hour convincing her that it was NOT okay to take the garbage back out of the outdoor wheely bin.
But hey, I can see the child underneath and when I see their problems, I can still see how with better parenting, planning and understanding, there will be a solution - However gradual it might be. I just have to work harder and smarter.
I am always sorry to hear about adults with special needs in neglectful or abusive situations, whether they have autism or not. However I think that continued advocacy for and by people who have autism, at any "level" including speaking publicly will make it harder to de-humanise and therefore disregard the civil rights of anyone whose disability precludes them from advocating for themselves.
I hope you can see the light too Harold. xx
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