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Hai Dang
Phoenix, AZ
Father of Three
Recent Activity
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Hai commented on the article |I wish you have the strength to be in this type of IEP's meetings. I have been in a few of these IEPs. But I know you and your husband will do the best for Charlie. I hope the district IEP team is doing the right thing for Charlie. The strength and courage of Charlie's IEP team is measured on how it deals with Charlie and all special education students with severe disabilities. Some teachers and administrators sometimes forget the reasons they want to become educators. We want to be teachers because we care for all children. "Kids don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Charlie may have limited expressive language, but from your descriptions of him I know Charlie knows who really care for him. I have three questions for Charlie's IEP team. (1) Is their decision to out placement Charlie based on sound reasoning and support by solid data? (2) Will they do the same if Charlie is their son? (3) Do they care for Charlie?
If they answer no for one of these questions, then the school may not be the best environment for Charlie IMHO.
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Hai commented on the article |You are right about learning specific skills but hard to transfer learned skills to other areas of motor movements. My sons was in martial art for over four years (6-10) and got to the brown belt level (a step away from the black belt.) He used three different weapons to perform in local shows, but he had difficulties in using silverwares to feed himself.
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Hai commented on the article |
Excellent post. My oldest son (14) who could easily solve difficult algebra problems could not tie a knot of his shoes. He finally learned to do it after months of practicing and lot of agruements between me and his mom. My youngest son like Charlie loves to wrap himself tightly in a big blanket. He always said that "you makes yourself a taco." (he still has his "I" and "you" mixed up.) They are in Karate classes to help improving their fine and gross motor skills.
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Hai commented on the article |Before the birth of my youngest son (almost 6) I held a deep belief that the preservatives in vaccines were the causes of my two oldest sons Autism. We went ahead to have another child because we thought if we not vaccinated our youngest child, he would not have difficult in learning to talk or developing like other children. My youngest son is not vaccinated, but he just recently received the Autism diagnose by the school system. I lost the belief that vaccination is the cause of my sons Autism.
But wait a minute, I am a biomedical dad and do believe it works. Both of my older sons received chelation therapy (along with tons of other educational therapies) for almost five years. They are in regular classrooms and doing extremely well in all academic subjects. Yes, they are still a few years behind their peers in social skills, but they are good and kind boys. I do not believe we "cure" them but give them opportunities to be more independent. My youngest son did not response well to chelation. Recently, I just found a way to help his body tolerating the chelation medications. I began chelating him again, and the result is phenomenon. Both his receptive and expressive languages improved more than 12 months in a month time. I can now carry a conversation with him over the phone. It was unimaginable a few months ago.
I do agree with Dr. Chew that the issue of biomedical is divisive. It is even more divisive in the biomedical camp. We have parents follow DAN's protocol. We have parents use TD-DMSA. We have parents use TD-DMPS. We have parents use IV-EDTA. We have parents follow Andy's protocol. Then you have parents like me who uses an unique, low dosage protocol (ALA and very little DMSA) for my children.
Yes, I do not want my children chelation medications. Especially, I have to give them every four hours around the clock. Believe me I am a lazy parent. :) But I do want my children to calm down long enough to learn to talk and not to injure themselves. For me, the choice is between ALA or Adderall - Vitamin A or Strattera - Vitamin C or Ritalin - Zinc or Depakote - Grape Seed Extracts or Concerta. I selected the former vitamins over the later drugs because I learned psychoactive drugs (Adderall, Strattera, Ritalin, Depakote..) containing mind-altering substances and have many side effects. I was afraid of its side effects and possibilities of altering my children's personalities. At the end, I do share some of the ND camp's believes. (1) I believe my children are unique individuals, and I have no right to change their personalities. (2) I believe that my children should be more independence and have a voice (pun-intended) of their own just like you and me.
(My post is not to criticize parents who use DAN's protocol, TD-DMSA, TD-DMPS, IV-EDTA, Andy's protocol, Adderall, Strattera, Ritalin or Depakote to help their children. Being a parent of three children on the spectrum, I understand the heartache and worry when we give any type of medications to our children. Some of whom have little language to tell us how they feel. Only parents live in our situations will understand us.) -
Hai commented on the article |
Thanks for your kind words. :)
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Hai commented on the article |
I really like Taro Greenfeld's first book. Just like his first book, Greenfeld again expressed his thoughts from the heart in the article. But I can see in his writing the love he and his parents has for his younger brother. Being a parent of three children on the spectrum, I at times am wondering what my life like if my kids were not on the spectrum. I do realize they have made me being a better (I hope) human being and parent. Nevertheless, all the IEP's meetings, therapies, lack of sleep and worrying about their futures are overwhelming at times. But the joys whenver I hear my sons learned of new words or new skills were so powerful that I would not trade them for anything else. Living with my children, I learn to find joy and peace in smallest changes in our lives. I learn to understand that "everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." I just have to look harder to see them in my children. It is the most difficult task IMHO in living with Autism.
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Hai commented on the article |"Recovery - independance - should always be the end goal.... with the reality always in view that you just might not make it."
Excellent point! We should have the courage to dream of our children working and living indenpendent as adults. We should be realistic but never give up on hope of a brighter future. Dr. Chew perfectly said in her post about "setting a child up for as good a life as can be." We understand it is a difficult journey as times. But "to be a star, we must shine our own light, follow our own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest." -
Hai commented on the article |I am touched by your courage and love for Charlie. He is a very lucky boy. You are right at the end parents are "the ones with the biggest responsibility of taking care" of our children. Hope is a powerful word, and we should never say never. I do believe Charlie will have a job and be more independent as he passing through these turbulent years of adolescence and entering the adulthood. My oldest son - two years older than Charlie and high functioning - is going through the same things. I do have those days I just want to be on an island by myself; but like you, I do not want to miss any minute of seeing my children growing up. My children autism has given me a chance becoming a better parent and enjoying my times with my children.
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Hai commented on the article |I really like your point on "refusing to get all of my information from any talk show host." I do not know if a talk show host is the best person for parents to learn about making medical choices for their children. JM's planned talk show may have nothing to do with Autism or an Autism theme. Being rich and famous like Oprah, I do not think that she is "dumb" enough to invest her money in a talk show with a polarization theme like biomedical in Autism. But I have been wrong many times before.
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Hai commented on the article |I completely understand your sentence "Even by people who volunteer to help autistic and mentally retarded." Even being a parent, I do have good and bad days. I learn to reminded myself that some of the behaviors of my children were manifested by their disabilities. Their lack of communications make a simple problem becoming worse one. That is why my wife and I work hard to improve their learning and communication skills. It is not only for our own children but also for our own sanity.
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