Login to Change.org
Create an Account
Toms Mom
Mahopac, NY
Recent Activity
-
-
Toms commented on the article |Thanks Kristina--nothing is so permanent as change.
Keep on blogging--and enjoy the rest of your summer!
-
Toms commented on the article |"Why is a special needs child in a regular classroom?"
Because under the law that's where he's supposed to be, and if people have a problem with that then by all means they should contact their legislators and use the legal processes we enjoy to have the laws changed. While far from a perfect reality, inclusion with support as needed is considered the optimum these days, rather than the "good old days' when "those kids" were isolated, ghettoized, and forgotten.
In the meantime, if in fact Alex belonged elsewhere then why did the school not use the means available to make it so? In what universe is "voting out" a kid a proper response to any situation? How does that help the other kids learn what they've come to school to learn? Isn't the least that any parent of any child to expect from a school and faculty supported by their tax dollars a modicum of common sense, and behavioral propriety?
I speak as the mother of a primary school child whose issues were too pronounced for him to attend school within the local district. Although I wish it were otherwise, the structure, staff and facilities available at the school just down the street were not adequate to meet Tom's needs. Thank God the school district, his teachers, and I have been able to work together to be sure my child's best interests are being served with his current placement. I wish the same for Alex and the Bartons! -
Toms commented on the article |
I suppose the Board does not want to deprive the woman of her livelihood. Neither do I. Sure, I understand being frustrated--I have screamed at my AS child, even smacked him. But never, ever would I act out in this bizarre and hurtful manner with him or anyone else's child.
The worst part of the deliberate humiliation Ms Portillo inflicted on this admittedly difficult and needy child was involving his peers in employing one of the most egregious forms of "democracy" ever demonstrated in "popular" American culture. Where the hell did she come up with this "strategy"?
I would feel better if it was clear that Ms. Pontillo has undergone some sort of training, anger management, whatever, and will be monitored and evaluated periodically.
And I don't care if she has/gets a PhD from God Almighty she should never have a special needs child assigned to her classroom again. -
Toms signed the petition | -
Toms commented on the article |That's great news . . . I often think what a hole we'd be in without Tommy's regular caregiver, Kim. Tom doesn't mind me referring to Kim as a babysitter, because as it happens she has always had another "baby" besides Tom to mind--so he doesn't think he's the "baby" in question! And, we are blessed too with Grandma power-although she will be 84 this month and is slowing down even as Tommy is speeding (and growing) up! Best of luck.
-
Toms commented on the article |If the choice were between expensive equipment and qualified, caring professionals: well, that's just no choice at all. QCP's can make things; things can't make QCPs! Tom's is "thing" kid but he also depends on his teachers/adults for emotional support. And they need support, too!
That being said, some effective equipment (effective being the key word) is crucial for certain types of development, and especially for kids with pronounced sensory issues. Tom's got his very own equipment: a "bumpy" chair pad to help him stay in his seat and focused during work periods, a weighted vest to don when he feels anxious. Note that the use of the latter is always his choice: he also has other choices like removing himself from the room completely if he is overwhelmed. (This was not an option at his previous school, and the resulting anxiety made that setting impossible. -
Toms commented on the article |Thanks Dora--right you are as usual. I take a bit of hope in knowing that many of these stories stem from a vaccuum 20 years ago in everybody's understanding of the spectrum. I have a friend in the UK who's daughter, now in her twenties, wasn't diagnosed until her teens. Still, you get the second-guessers, "experts" and non (Tom doesn't have a single obsession that all AS kids are "supposed" to have, so does he really have AS? And why do I "want" him to have "autism"? And is AS 'really' autism at all? etc. etc. etc.
-
Toms commented on the article |Happy Birthday, Charlie!
And best wishes to you and Jim, Kristina. -
Toms commented on the article |Kristina, I do agree: restraining is a stop-gap measure and could be a red flag that the child is not appropriately placed. Tying a kid down in a chair is torture and should not be allowed, period. IMHO, the basket hold can be as dangerous for the adult as for the child. Yes, some children in melt-down find the close contact with a trusted adult soothing--but many do not, and if the adult in question is uncomfortable in any way with the action then it only feeds the child's fear and anxiety. I used and gave my permission forthe front hold when Tom was in kindergarten (and prone to throwing furniture) but in the end we agreed it was counter-productive for him in a school setting. His teacher--who was lovely and kind and quite experienced--was afraid of Tom and he knew it.
The real problem was the measures that would have helped him--i.e., removing HIMSELF from the source of his anxiety--were not allowed in that setting. He has since been moved to a more program where he IS allowed to "self-manage" when agitated and is learning to resolve and communicate his discomfort in a non-threatening way. (No chairs in the air all year!)
