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Fr. Marty Kurylowicz
Canton, MI
I am a Catholic priest and a clinical psychologist. Along with a professional staff, my colleagues and I explore clinical studies and research data from the major national and international professional, medical, and mental health associations and institutes on human sexuality. Our particular focus is on the early childhood psychological stages of development of children who up to be gay (LGBTQ), including the lifetime harmful psychological effects caused by social environments that have been influenced by antigay social and religious norms. For the purpose of advancing the knowledge and education of the general global population in understanding the complexity and variability of human sexuality, gender, and sexual orientation, we work to stop violence and harm caused to children.
Recent Activity
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |3 British Golden Angels Greet Benedict XVI, Cardinal Newman – GAY, 9/19/10 - REACTION FORMATION?
The spectacular (Las Vegas like) greeting by three young muscular male British "Chippendalest" Golden Angels brilliantly orchestrated (?) by Benedict XVI and his staff to highlighted the Beatification of the gay Cardinal Newman - the cost - priceless. How?
It has always been puzzling why Benedict XVI always manages to make major public statements against "gay civil rights", "gay equality" or "gay marriage" before major Christian holidays, like Christmas 2008, his trip to Portugal, and his latest to Britain. Why? Benedict XVI public statements against gays have been constant and consistent, as regular as breathing and a heart beating. It appears to be the complex defense mechanism – reaction formation – (simply put is displaying the opposite feeling felt to defend against anxiety) and the dissociative process of a closeted gay male.
How would a Pope who wanted a very passionate gay (LGBT) community to be up-front and a major part of any festivities, on major holidays, or papal visits - orchestrate it without anyone knowing? After five years becoming Benedict XVI 2005, his track record against gays is vividly documented for history in all the forms of news media. This observation is too blatantly obvious to ignore – for the sake of the safety and well-being of children. To help stop - the lifetime harm caused to children, the teenage suicides and the violence against innocent adults that has been fueled by Benedict XVI’s past 30 years of making unsubstantiated personal statements against homosexuals and sexual orientation – void of any scientific or biblical documentation.
Without knowing it Benedict XVI has brought together and united globally more religious leaders, clergy, ministers, faith groups, leaders of governments, politicians, scientists, medical and mental health associations, organizations and professionals, LGBTQ&I groups, organizations, individuals and allies for one common cause - that we together bring out all that is true and good and loving about the diversity of human sexuality, such as sexual orientation, gender identity and intersex, the uniqueness and an importance of each and every individual, including supporting gay marriage.
This could very well be considered another miracle of Cardinal Newman who was beatified in his beloved country by Benedict XVI – flanked by beautiful muscular gay angels. Now there is a picture perfect holy card.
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |Marriage Equality will not become a reality until people learn that its most vital purpose is that it restores the hope of love to children in early childhood essential to their development and wellbeing for life. Without Marriage Equality we teach children how to hate love and how to be mean and indifferent to people as adults. With all due respect, without Marriage Equality we would teach them in much the same way as has been shown by Benedict XVI and the hierarchy, especially in their lack of care and protection of children for decades. http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2010/05/benedict-xvi-insidious-statement-made_14.html
When I speak about mean I am speaking about cruelty - because it is inhuman to slap up a kid in early childhood whose only crime is loving a parent of the same sex for merely showing the most innocent expressions of a child’s affection to another human being. It is an innocent, most genuine yearning to bond with another and to feel one with, which is part of the process of the development of human bonding.
At this early age a child who grows up to be gay - is brutally mistreated even physically abused just for wanting to love and to be loved another person of the same sex will have life long consequences that are harmful not only to this child but also to the many people that come into his life. It kills for that child his future hope for love.
To kill this natural humanness for bonding in early childhood, of true love then what is left in that child? All that is left is to treat others the way this child was treated.
In essence this child was forced to suffocate his natural need for love and to pleasantly continue to interact in only a heterosexual world. Without any physical abuse this is still indeed implicit cruelty to a very high degree. So, as an adult, this person can present a very pleasant plastic façade but it is interwoven with real cruelty exactly the way this adult was raised as a child.
There are many allegations that Hitler was gay and was abuse as a child growing up by his father. One wonders how any one human being could be so detached from any human empathy to be able to commit the immensity of the human horror of his atrocities.
Heuristically speaking it seems with anyone who is strongly antigay tends to be a bit hysterical and unwilling to calmly to discuss details. Other antigay people lecture their position with no deviations, rock solid and airtight. You can feel their pain, beside their hurtfulness.
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |
Michael, thank you. It has not been identified as child abuse for one reason because the abuse is not an explicit from of abuse. It is an implicit form of psychological child abuse more harmful and even deadly than forms of explicit abuse. One example of this may be with all due respect is Benedict XVI. Auschwitz - Christmas 2008 - Brokeback Mountain http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2010/05/benedict-xvi-insidious-statement-made_14.html#more
Another reason is that if Kinsey scale is correct that less than 10% of the human population is exclusively heterosexual and less than 10% is exclusively homosexual. What this means is that more than 90% of the world population has varying degrees of a homosexual orientations.
And of that 90% of those people who were raised in antigay social environments often influenced by antigay religious norms would more than likely have been traumatized in early childhood for a natural genuine display of affection for a same sex caretaker (often a parent) and it was met by a most unexpected abrupt form of rejection (scolding, ridicule or physical reaction) varying in degree of intensity and afterwards this child would likely have block the memory of it from his or her consciousness for life in order to stop the painful rippling effect. As life goes on only the scars remain and tends not to be any conscious conception of any form of abuse.
This is the type of defense that Harry Stack Sullivan MD calls dissociation, which is some form of homosexual activity can be happening practically completely out of the person conscious self-awareness. This means a person may be a closeted homosexual though not aware of that fact and continued to be quite antigay outwardly, yet being partaking in homosexual behavior. Some examples of this might be George Alan Rekers, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard and with all due respect much of the hierarchy and especially for many in the Vatican regarding the male prostitution ring having been going for years maybe even decades. Most likely none of these people are aware that they were abuse at a very young age, by antigay aggressive behavior directly towards them. http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2010/05/george-rekers-heaven-sent-rent-boy_17.html
The only way I think that we can try to stop this is by education and like Michael writing about it. Thank God for ‘Miami New Times” for tracking this story, and thousands of children lives are saved from being harmed.
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |Hi Reverend Boony,
Great to hear from you again, hope all is well with you.
Absolutely!!! Understanding the behind the scenes makeup of a person’s actions is never an excuse for personal responsibility or social responsibility.
Why isn’t there some kind of governing mechanism to stop these kinds of reactions against innocent people? This is what I mean that there are “no checks and balances” in the Vatican. That begins to explain the why there is so much corruption at the top of the Roman Catholic Church.
Trying to understand the behavior of a person does not excuse anyone of personal responsibility. However, it should be a wake-up call for the responsibility of a social consciousness that something humanely needs to be done to protect people from the harmful effects of a misguided person.
The horror of the lack of this kind responsible social consciousness is clearly seen with the reign of Hitler’s atrocities. However, there was an implicit form to Hitler’s atrocities. I think that this is what I somehow pick unconsciously about Benedict XVI, his sinister implicit forms of retaliation that are covertly done not unlike Hitler in ways. However, here too having done research on the Holocaust (Auschwitz - Christmas 2008 - Brokeback Mountain) and with the constant revelation of the magnitude of the child sexual abuse cover-ups were being done for decades almost completely out of public view, Benedict XVI become ever more vivid to me.
This is another, eerie similarity to Hitler’s concentration camps. However, myself being a victim of this kind of implicit violent retaliation of Benedict XVI only begins to unfold even for me when you realize that you are not the only one this covert violence has happened to. Our modern communication capabilities, the Internet, are incapacitating to Benedict XVI and his accomplices because it turns the bright public light on their violent hidden tactics. With all due respect, the Internet is to Benedict XVI like bright light is to a vampire. Every time I post something revealing about Benedict XVI there always seems to be a reaction from the Vatican. Further investigation will help in this regard.
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |
Michael I hope you eat well, get enough exercise and have many good friends, why because I want you to live a long and happy life. I get pretty down at times especially with Benedict XVI’s mean unsubstantiated statements made against gay marriage, which are really hurtful to children who grow up gay. I can feel alone that is until I read your postings and you are always right on target. It makes me feel soooo… good. God love you!
Regarding Benedict XVI horrendous statement made against homosexuals I believe comes from growing up during the time of Hitler. During the time of Hitler’s rise to power he blamed all societal ills onto the homosexuals. This as you can imagine created a lot of hostility and violence directed against homosexuals. The social environment would have been unbearable for any adult gay person however, for a child growing up gay it would have been sheer terror, traumatizing a child for life. Even a causal look at another person of the same sex could land that person in a concentration camp.
Benedict XVI doesn’t realize that he is recreating the horror he experienced growing up, I am speculating here. In his own mind, I truly believe he is saying these things against homosexuals to protect people. He is doing this because there was no one to protect him from horrendous statements made against homosexuals that Hitler publicly kept proclaiming. To use the term “insidious” where does that come from? It is like saying someone is less than human. However, this is how a child would have heard Hitler’s words against homosexuals. So, no bonding to anyone if you were growing gay during the time of Hitler would be allowed. It would be a torturous life, unbelievably cruel for an innocent child in early childhood years growing up. It is a most severe form of implicit child abuse. I liken it to the ancient practice of “foot binding,” deforming a person’s feet for life, this is a form of explicit child abuse that was also considered socially acceptable, until it was outlawed. And as it tends to be the victims of child abuse grow up to be the abusers, until it is pointed to them. I wrote more about this in a post on the Thalamus Center called - AUSCHWITZ -- CHRISTMAS 2008 -- A flashback far more severe than in --- BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. We need to constantly speak out against these kinds of statements made by Benedict XVI against homosexuals. Never allow any such statement go unchallenged. This is why it was sooooo… good to read your post.
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |Hawaii has moved in the right direction.
My coming out 1997, as a gay Catholic priest was not about me. Like Galileo, all I have is a little piece of truth about the facts of growing up gay.
Marriage Equality will not become a reality until people learn that its most vital purpose is that it restores the hope of love to children in early childhood essential to their development and wellbeing for life. Without Marriage Equality we teach children how to hate love and how to be mean and indifferent to people as adults. With all due respect, without Marriage Equality we would teach them in much the same way as has been shown by Benedict XVI and the hierarchy, especially in their lack of care and protection of children for decades. http://fathermartykurylowicz.blogspot.com/2010/04/marriage-equality-restores-hope-of-love.html
Benedict XVI and the hierarchy failure to accept responsibility for decades of child sexual abuse cover-ups have finally caught up with them. These last couple of months has been and continues to be a critical time to put out valid information about human sexuality, to be the voice of sanity and clarity and not allow misinformation about sexual orientation to be associated falsely with the child sexual abuse cases and cover-ups that are overwhelming the Church at the highest level right now. It is possible that campaigns against Marriage Equality have been a vehicle to convey certain people into political office as well as to maintain cover-ups in the Church hierarchy regarding decades of child sexual abuse. Moreover, the misuse of Marriage Equality can be severely harmful to children who grow up to be gay. Some Church and State leaders can be so inhuman in their efforts to gain power that they tend to care less that kids are being hurt!!! Fr. Marty Kurylowicz, Thalamus Center, Early Childhood Psychological Development – Canton MI
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |It’s like a “Slice of Heaven!!!”
Feels like the 4th of July and the winter holidays all roll into one.
I have been so happy reading the news about Mexico approving gay marriage that I have been on and off in tears. And I cannot seem to stop it.
I guess, I am happy!
REALLY HAPPY!!! I guess that I am not use to such good news – good news for so many millions of people.
I do believe in Santa Claus!
Merry Christmas, Michael, with all best wishes, Marty
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |Implicit Child Abuse of Antigay People as Children Growing Up?
In lectures that I have given I explain these thoughts about possible “implicit child abuse” growing up of antigay people. When you listen to anyone who is antigay, we never hear any substantiated facts. It reminds me of a friend of mine in high school who got into some trouble. I asked him the next day at school, what his dad had to say? He said, “Well, if you cut out all the swearing, he didn’t say much." That is the way it seems to be with people who are antigay. They tend to be forceful, heated, irrational, and overpowering, but offering absolutely no content. There often seems to be this sense of being mean “to be mean, as mean as you can be” to another human being. They tend to be reacting like people who had been abused as children, unable to communicate rationally their thoughts and feelings about homosexuality, to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Heuristically, speaking what we may be experiencing from these antigay people is a form of implicit child abuse that happened to them as very young children growing up, attempting to bond with a parent of the same sex and being rejected. That kind of rejection can be traumatic for a child depending on the degree of intensity of the rejection and how often it was experienced.
It remains me what my Trappist Abbott friend asked me after I came out to him, however, before I did I explained that I felt deep shame and that it was extremely difficult for me to tell him that I was gay. Immediately, after I came out to him, he said “Who told you you are bad!?!” I was as much stunned by what he said to me and as he was by my thinking that I was bad because I was gay. He continued to question me if I was ever abused as a child. I searched deep, deep down into my past and I could not say that I was honestly abused, ever! Nothing! However, he was right, which I found out later after being in therapy and learning more about the facts of sexual orientation that I was abused as a child. For me, I could see that it was quite unintentional, because it was not an explicit form of child abuse. I was implicitly abused as a child, because of being raised in a social environment that was antigay. Sexual orientation was not understood as the way a person bonds to another human being. A person’s sexual orientation is set very early in life, either just before birth or very soon after birth. For a child sexual orientation is expressed by just wanting to be close to another human being, to feel one with another. Bonding is significantly important in early childhood psychological development years growing up. To feel rejection during this time can be traumatic for a child. A child with any degree of a homosexual orientation growing up in the social environment influenced by social and religious antigay norms will more than likely experience this form of implicit child abuse, for some it can be explicit child abuse as well. In the movie Brokeback Mountain, Ennis’s flashback as a very young child he is recalling how his father took him out to see what happens to someone who loves someone of the same sex. It is a brutal scene of a man lying dead in a field after being dragged behind a pick-up truck. This is a severe form of child abuse supposedly to teach a child how to be inhuman to another human being, who loves someone of the same sex. Any form of child abuse has life long lasting effects.
Again, heuristically speaking, the antigay people that I have heard and read about never have any substantiated facts. Nothing! And it seems that the ones who are the most insistent are those from religious background that condemned homosexuality. According, to the sexual orientation continuum nearly 90% of the human population has some degree of a homosexual orientation. Is what we are experiencing from antigay people a form of “implicit child abuse?” Implicit child abuse experienced from the rejections of the attempts of wanting to bond with another human being, at a most vulnerable time for any child, an extremely cruel, inhuman treatment of any child. These children grow up to be adults and then become the aggressors, mistreating others the way they were mistreated as children.
One would wonder why are some people so outraged by Marriage Equality? Are these gay people who want to marry, stealing, killing, abusing private property, or harming anyone? Why would some antigay people feel the overwhelming need to decapitate, dismember and burn someone who is LGBT? In some countries, antigay people outright publicly kill homosexuals, beatings, hangings, stabbings, shootings and far worst.
Why? Why? Why? What causes this fierce angry wanting to do bodily harm to gay people who are harmless? Where did these antigay people, who are so religious, learn to be so inhuman to innocent people who only want to love someone and be married like anyone who wants to build a life together with the person they love? It is interesting that two gay people in love can turn some antigay people into raving homicidal maniacs. Two gay people “being in love” strikes terror in antigay people. Why? Could it be that this very act of loving, bonding to another person of the same sex, be the trauma that these antigay people are re-experiencing, remembering being rejected so harshly as very young children?
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |
It is irreverent and indeed very hurtful to seriously discuss biblical passages with anyone who has not shown the respect for the bible of spending a significant amount of time of several years at accredited university or college doing scholarly work studying the bible. Otherwise it ends up like discussing how to do open heart surgery with someone who has absolutely no medical degree. Jesus warned us to avoid such situations, “Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit." Matthew 15:14
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Fr. Marty commented on the article |
Research data released at the US Catholic bishops fall meeting November 2009, stated, “Homosexual orientation was are not the problem” of the decades of the hierarchy child sexual abuse cases. This data became significantly threatening to Benedict XVI and his hierarchy of exposing the truth of their criminal negligence of children, this especially after a year of tremendous of worldwide support for LGBT adults and children.
This research data came out the same time that the Ireland Murphy report revealed the facts about the decades of cover-ups of the child sexual abuse cases by the Roman Catholic hierarchy globally.
It also revealed that Benedict XVI had ordered these cover-ups and to punish anyone challenging the hierarchy.
They did this knowing that civil governments would not do anything to stop them, because of the overwhelming support of an unknowing public of the facts. Benedict XVI did this even before he was made pope for the past 30 some years, as Cardinal Ratzinger. It also revealed the collusions the civil government helping in the cover-ups of the child sexual abuse cases.
The Ireland’s Murphy report was like the one domino that flipped backwards exposing the decades of criminal negligence by Benedict XVI and his hierarchy. But most importantly it exposes the fact that Benedict XVI used the homosexual orientation to muster world attention to shift the blame off his hierarchy and place it onto homosexuals. Hitler used the same tactic when he first came into power blaming homosexuals for all societal illness thus encouraging public intolerance towards homosexuals. It is history repeating itself. Read the facts for yourself about the “Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals 1933-1945 on UNITED STATES HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL MUSEUM
www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/online/hsx/
Like with the strategic advice given by “Deep Throat” to Bob Woodward in the “Watergate” cover-ups to follow the “money” the same is true with Benedict XVI, follow the “child sexual abuse cover-ups.” The “cover-ups” involves billions of dollars, including implicating many civil government officials who colluded in the cover-ups and an unending number of convictions, like with Nixon and all his men 1974. “It’s beginning to look a lot like Watergate (again) everywhere you go.”
Benedict XVI and his hierarchy must continue to publicly condemn “gay marriage” in order to maintain their cover-ups and from being thrown into jail. Notice that their condemning of homosexuals began in 2002, when the child sexual abuse cases first became global news.
Although it is becoming very difficult to maintain their cover with major Christian denominations this summer 2009 joining the long established Christian precedence of accepting LGBT people (with their partners) in all forms of ordain ministries. The difficulties maintaining their cover is also true because of research data of all the major medical, psychiatric, psychological and social workers national and international professional associations regarding human sexuality, sexual orientation and gender identity.
This United Nations statement by the Vatican is likely meant more as a strategic form of distraction. It was used to ease Benedict XVI and his hierarchy LGBT opposition and to allow more time to past for people to forget the Ireland Murphy report “December 09” and research data report at the US bishops fall meeting “November 09” stating that “Homosexuality was the not the problem” of the child sexual abuse cases. In addition, it was pointed out to me, what is the meaning of “unjust discrimination” used in the Vatican’s statement. Did the Vatican in reality say anything different regarding homosexuals?
2009 was a most revealing year of the decades of Benedict XVI and his hierarchy child sexual abuse cover-ups. There have been major world leaders, celebrities standing up, and some “coming out” in support of LGBT adults and children. It did not help Benedict any to have Obama become the USA President in 2008. Benedict XVI and his hierarchy may have won the battle against Marriage Equality in California 2008, but they are losing the war overall for gay marriage. That is if the advocates of Marriage Equality do not allow the publicity of the “child sexual abuse cases” in Ireland to die down without convictions and proper restitution made to the victims. Christ warned us about the importance of protecting children, which the Benedict XVI and his hierarchy long have forgotten. Protect children and the entire world will be safe. If we forget the children we will lose like Benedict XVI and his hierarchy are for not protecting the little ones.
The Vatican’s great defense in dealing with “cover-ups” is to allow time to past for people to forget. It took the Vatican 400 years to apologize to Galileo for condemning him because he said the earth revolves around the sun.
